"Shen Ruoyu, I forgive you. Get up now. Helian Yi wants us to leave the city immediately to find him."

Forgive her? He’d inexplicably doused her with cold water, and now he expected her gratitude for his forgiveness. Shen Ruoyu convinced herself that perhaps this trip out of the city would be his end. If things went as Helian Yi suggested, she wouldn't have to face Lu Zhixing again, and perhaps, just perhaps, she could finally live a peaceful life.

While Lu Zhixing stood lost in thought at the window, Shen Ruoyu changed into travel-appropriate attire. A heavy snow had just fallen upon the capital, making the air bitingly cold. Gazing at the snow-laden branches of a barren tree outside the window, Lu Zhixing recalled his first encounter with Shen Xinghuai. "Do you know I met your brother on a snowy day just like this?"

Unwilling to hear about her brother from his lips, Shen Ruoyu interrupted his reminiscence. "If the Young Master is so concerned for my brother, you shouldn't waste time lamenting. We should depart the city as soon as possible." 

Shen Xinghuai was fine. He would have his own life, a life that shouldn't be ruined by someone like Lu Zhixing. This time, as long as she took care of her brother, she could finally escape the endless cycle of rebirth.

"Oh? You don't want to hear it? Then I shall tell it anyway." Lu Zhixing turned to find Shen Ruoyu sitting at a table, writing. Uninterested in her affairs, he continued his story. "That year, the snow fell heavily in the depths of winter…"

Whenever he recalled his first meeting with Shen Xinghuai, the usually taciturn Lu Zhixing became surprisingly loquacious. Perhaps Shen Xinghuai himself was unaware that his unintentional act had saved a life.

Lu Zhixing’s experiences in Southern Yue were a source of lifelong shame. Even after his fortunate escape, he had lost the will to live. He couldn't face his father. He had misplaced his trust, lived without dignity in that hellhole, learned to bark like a dog to avoid torment, lived among pigs and dogs, and fought with animals for scraps of food.

If any of this were to become public knowledge, the Prince Yu’s residence would lose all face. The thought of returning to the capital, to the whispers and scorn, made Lu Zhixing yearn for death. Death would be a release, a way to protect his father's reputation.

He had followed a Southern Yue merchant caravan to Xuancheng, a border town of the Li Dynasty. Even in death, he didn't want to die in a foreign land. In a snow-covered clearing outside Xuancheng, Lu Zhixing pulled out a dagger he had stolen along the way. One swift plunge, and all his troubles would be over.

"Father, I'm sorry. I am useless and have brought shame upon the Prince Yu’s residence." The young man, covered in bloody scabs from countless beatings, looked like a beggar, his filthy appearance masking the handsome features he once possessed.

Lu Zhixing retrieved the dagger from beneath him. In the next instant, he would plunge it into his chest. Perhaps only then could he truly forget those unbearable memories.

"Big brother? Were you also driven out?"

Just before the act, Lu Zhixing heard an innocent voice. He opened his eyes and saw a clean, handsome boy standing before him.

"Big brother, my sister doesn't like me. She sent me back to our old home in Xuancheng. What about you? Were you driven out too?"

Shen Xinghuai bent down, looking at the strange "beggar."

Lu Zhixing wanted to answer but found he couldn't speak. He hadn't spoken to anyone in Southern Yue for a long time. Helian Yi had warned him, "Remember, you are a dog. Dogs don't speak human language. If you try to speak again, I'll cut out your tongue!"

Whether from disuse or fear, Lu Zhixing couldn't utter a word.

Seeing this, Shen Xinghuai assumed he was a mute beggar. He pulled a sesame cake from his pocket. "Here, Big Brother, you can have this cake. I just went to the temple to pray for my sister, and the abbot told me to do good deeds. This counts as a good deed, right?"

The abbot had said that doing good deeds would soften his sister's heart. He would certainly do more good deeds, hoping his sister would soon recognize his devotion.

The Shen Xinghuai of that time didn't know that the ragged, filthy beggar before him was Lu Zhixing. Had he known, he wouldn't have spoken to him, let alone offered him the cake.

The aroma of the sesame cake reminded Lu Zhixing of how long it had been since he'd eaten real food. He stretched out his mud-caked hand, trembling as he accepted the cake. He ate it ravenously, his eyes wary on Shen Xinghuai.

Perhaps it was the cake that rekindled his will to live. After the boy left, Lu Zhixing decided to return to the capital. His personality changed drastically after that. In the subsequent war against Southern Yue, he became a ruthless killer, mercilessly slaughtering captured prisoners. He also systematically eliminated anyone who knew of his ordeal in Southern Yue.

"Later, I saw him again in the capital. He turned out to be the young master of the Grand Tutor Shen's residence. That winter, he happened to be visiting his old home in the countryside. He barely said two words to me, but he mentioned your name several times, Shen Ruoyu. You truly make me jealous." 

Shen Xinghuai hadn't done much, but his appearance had undeniably given Lu Zhixing the will to live.

From then on, Lu Zhixing cherished his life. Even though he was fond of Shen Xinghuai, he wouldn't gamble his life for him. He loved himself most of all, more than anyone else.

That's why he had made thorough preparations before seeking out Helian Yi.

Lu Zhixing omitted the details of his time in Southern Yue as he told this story. Shen Ruoyu, absorbed in her writing, paid little attention. Before leaving, she left a note for Xiao Chun and wrote a letter to Jiang Peizhi.

Seeing the name Jiang Peizhi on the envelope, Lu Zhixing chuckled. "Leaving a note for your little follower? Are you afraid you won't return and need to settle your affairs? It's strange, doesn't that Jiang fellow have some sort of strange illness from childhood? He's like a freak. I deliberately left you outside today, and when he found out, he insisted on causing a scene at my residence. When I wouldn't let him in, he just squatted at the gate. Who knows how long he stayed there. When I finally went out, he bit me like a dog."

Lu Zhixing's words drew Shen Ruoyu's attention to the neat row of teeth marks on the back of his right hand. She had to admit, her sworn friend was truly loyal.

"Let's not waste any more time. Let's go." Shen Ruoyu picked up the fragrant sachet and followed Lu Zhixing westward, out of the city.